Tag Archives: lesbian

Semantics

Last night I attended a family pre-wedding dinner for Lela’s cousin (on her dad’s side) who is getting married this evening.  BTW, she is the most relaxed bride-to-be I have ever come across.  Anyway, the bride to be’s sister’s in-laws are out from the US for the wedding and her mother (Lela’s aunt) was going around the room introducing them to the family.  She comes to me and introduces me as “Lela’s friend”.  Now I experienced this quite a bit at the beginning of Lela and my relationship and I was fine with it.  We hadn’t been dating all that long, people were still getting used to it etc, etc.  However, Lela and I have been together for almost nine years.  I have being going to family functions for almost that long as well.  Yet, I am still introduced as “Lela’s friend” like I am no more important to Lela than someone she works with or hangs out with on the weekend – and it fucking pisses me off.  Would it seriously kill them to introduce me as her girlfriend or partner after all this time? I have been dating Lela longer than her aunt’s daughters have been dating their husband and soon to be husband, but no I am relegated to friend status so they don’t have to acknowledge our relationship and openly admit there are lesbians in the family.

I had a rant to Lela after the dinner was over and we were back at home about it all and now Lela wants to introduce me to someone as her fuck buddy.  I am really hoping that she doesn’t decide to do it at the wedding tonight.

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The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Geeks in Love

Xena and GabrielleWhen asking for suggestions on what to blog about, Naomi commented “Y’know, I’d love to hear about how you and Lelak met and got together. I don’t remember reading anything of the sort so far.”

Well, kids, gather around whilst I tell you the story of how Lelak and I met.

The year was 1998, I was in my third year of University and the TV show Xena had gained a cult following. Being a geek, I was a member of this wonderful cult following and was a member of a mailing list called DUX – Down Under Xenites. On April 12, 1998, the DUX mailing list decided to have a fan meeting at the King St Cafe, but we would meet at McDonald’s first as that’s the place everyone knew. I get really nervous meeting people I don’t know, but I decided to go along. This would be one of the best decisions of my life.

Lelak, at the time, wasn’t a member of DUX, but her flatemate’s friend Rox was, so Lelak got dragged along to the gathering since she watched Xena anyway.

We all meet up at McDonald’s. So, I can truthfully say, I met my girlfriend at McDonald’s. The initial gathering had an attendance of about 16 people. Fate had it that I sat next to Lelak. The lunch progressed, we ate, we talked, we laughed. After the lunch finished, Lelak and Sumac invited people back to their place to watch some Xena episode. Of the 16 people at the lunch, 10 of us went to Lelak and Sumac’s. As Lelak informed me after we started dating, that when Sumac asked if she invited people back to their place, she only agreed because I was coming. Aww… :)

Of those 10 people that spent the rest of the day and well into the night watching Xena episodes, 9 of us become really close friends. In fact, we are still friends today. But of course, you are here for the romance story. Well, at the time all this was happening, I was firmly in the closet and Lelak had a girlfriend. It took two years of us being friends for us to finally get together. I did kiss Lelak way back in about September 1998. She was the first girl I ever kissed and the first person with whom kissing made sense with. But, we still didn’t get together. When I finally came out of the closet in November 1999, the first person I dated was our mutual friend V. It was a short lived relationship with us deciding that we were better friends and we actually became flatmates a short time later.

Lelak and I officially got together sometime in July 2000. We are not really sure of the date. It followed months of flirting, hand holding and secret kisses. Lelak was dating someone else during our flirting period. That’s right, I was the other woman. Once we finally got together, it was your typical lesbian dating story where there was only a short dating period before we moved in together. Then again, we had been close friends for over two years before we ever dated so it is not like we barely knew each other. Again, this is what lesbians do, our dating circle is our circle of friends. It becomes very interesting at times.

Almost eight years later, we are still together. Still happy and still in love. We actually worked out that we knew each other before we ever meet. Way back in 1994, we were both on the Australian X-Files list. I actually printed out some of Lelak’s emails because I found them so funny. Yes, my friends, I think it was fate that brought us together. That and the love of sci-fi/fantasy TV shows.

*The title of the post is taken from a famous lesbian film called “The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love”

Who are you?

I got this comment on one of my posts;
“So: if indeed you are a thirty-something lesbian geek, as you claim, you’re probably into Le Tigre.”

I must admit I am left a little puzzled about why people might not think I am who I say I am. I know the internet is the place where people assume a fake identity, but geez, if I was going to fake someone to be on the ‘net, it certainly wouldn’t be a thirty something lesbian geek, that’s for sure. For one, I would pretend to be someone really cool as well as thin and gorgeous, definitely not a fat nerdy dyke. I would also blog about my really cool and interesting life where I would be living the high life, meeting famous people in coffee shops and posting pictures of myself at fabulous locations. But there is none of that here – I am really am a lesbian geek living in Sydney, Australia, leading a normal life.

Also, I am so into Le Tigre, I had to google them. No idea who or what they are. Apparently they are an American post-punk/electro-pop band. I guess that means my lesbian cred is now non-existent. Did I mention I was a geek? No idea about popular cool culture, but I bet I could kick Le Tigre’s ass at a Xena trivia contest. Yeah, I am so cool.

Party Post

StreamersWelcome to this Ultimate Blog Shindig. There is finger food on the table, cold beer and soft drinks (soda) in the fridge and someone is firing up the BBQ. Come in, sit down and feel free to stay as long as you like. As you wander around this blog it will be immediately obvious to you that this blog isn’t like the others you have visited on the party circuit. I am not a parent and I have no desire to have children, but then again, you have probably seen a few child free blogs in your partying. However, I can almost guarantee that this is the first lesbian blog you have come to party at. The longer you stay, the more I hope you come to realise that everything the media and religious organisations have told you about gay people isn’t always true. My life is very similar to yours; I get up in the mornings, I walk my dogs, I go to my 9 to 5 job, I came home and walk the dogs again, I cook dinner, I watch TV and I go to bed. I am in a long term relationship with my gorgeous girlfriend Lelak that has lasted almost 8 years. We own our own home and like everyone else we are struggling to pay the mortgage. When we get together with our friends – both gay and straight, we tend to have BBQ and dinner parties. There are usually a few kids around belong to both straight and gay parents. As you can see, it is all very normal. Not the sin, sex, drugs and depravity that everyone told you about, is it?

Now that the gay acceptance speech is over, that is pretty much as serious as it gets around here. I like to keep things fairly upbeat, unless I am ranting about things, then it can get a little serious. This blog is a reflection of my life. It contains bits and pieces about my daily life, the things I love to do and discussions about things close to my heart or that get me really pissed off. I am your typical thirty something lesbian geek. I work in tech support in an industry very few people understand. I love sci-fi TV and TV that makes me think. Actually, if you want to know more about me, this post explains a few things.

So please wander around, say hello to everyone, ask as many questions as you like and if you want want to hang around for a while, I would be very happy to have you here.

Websites for Women

A brand new news and social networking site for women is being launched this Saturday (US Time). The site, called The Women On the Web, is designed for the over 40s and boasts contributors such as Candice Bergen, Joan Juliet Buck, Whoopi Goldberg, Marlo Thomas, Lily Tomlin, Joan Cooney, Judith Martin, Sheila Nevins, Julia Reed and Jane Wagner. Its founders’ state “it’s time that a mature or seasoned or empowered generation had a strong presence, and not one about finding a man or about matchmaking or about taking care of your daughter” and I couldn’t agree more. I hate that almost every site out there for women is about finding love, getting married, getting pregnant or raising kids. None of those things are inapplicable to my life and yet I am still a woman. Even sites out there for lesbians are still about finding love, getting pregnant and raising kids. It is like that is all a woman is expected to do with her life. Where are the sites for women to talk about current events, important issues and other worthy topics that have nothing to do with our reproductive organs? Even though I am seven years too young for this site, I will be checking in on Sunday morning and seeing what it is all about. Hopefully, I will have found a site for women that is more about the brain than the body.

Lesbian Geek

Daphne and VelmaI have found my newest favourite site, Lesbian Geek. It is about all things geeky like rpgs, sci-fi tv shows and gadgets with a lesbian spin on it. I am so excited. It is like everything I love on one website. I am in love.

I have also stumbled across where all the lesbian bloggers are hanging out. Unfortunately, they all appear to be American, but I won’t hold that against them. Somewhere there has to be Aussie lesbian bloggers, right? It may take me a while, but I will find them. In the meantime, I am having a great Sunday morning reading through all my new found lesbian blogs. Quite a few of them have made it onto my Google reader. I am really going to have to find more hours in the day to read all the blogs I want to read and start actually commenting on them.

Fair Day

I have just gotten home, tired and sunburnt, from Fair Day. Fair Day is officially described by the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras as Sydney’s great big gay picnic in the park – and that is a pretty good description. Once a year, the gays take over Victoria Park next to Sydney Uni and transform into a big gay festival complete with stalls, live music and a dog show called Doggywood. It is a real community day where the whole gay community comes together to chill out in the park. It is the only event in the Mardi Gras Festival that I must go to. I love Fair Day. I love wandering around the stalls checking out what community, political and sporting groups have shown up this year and looking at tacky and trashy things to buy. I love hanging out in the park with my friends and meeting up with people that I only seem to see at Fair Day. Most of all, I love seeing all the dogs that come to Fair Day with their owners. The gay community love their dogs and Fair Day is their big chance to show them off. Lelak and I have a great time wandering around pointing out all the interesting dogs. We saw four Great Danes and two Neopolitian Mastiffs this year. Lelak really wants to get a Great Dane, but at the moment, two dogs are enough. Any more and they would start to outnumber us.

Fair Day is pretty much the one time of the year that I feel connected to the gay community. In my day to day life, I rarely meet anyone else who is gay, except for my friends and in an office where I am the only gay person it can be a bit isolating at times. Fair Day reminds me that I am a part of a big huge community that seems to be getting bigger every year. It is a great feeling to walk around a festival knowing that you share something in common with almost everyone there. I say almost everyone because an increasing large number of straight families also attend Fair Day and I think that is truly amazing. I love seeing them there soaking up the atmosphere and having fun. It is a good feeling to have such visible support from the straight community.