Neighbourhood Conspiracy Theories

Though the faces often change, the formula of ...

Image via Wikipedia

We have a lovely old lady, Bonnie, who lives with her husband next door.  She is deaf as a post but she knows everything that is going on in the neighbourhood and as she is out in her garden every single day she is perfect neighbourhood watch.  She is a little eccentric but she means well.  She brings in our garbage bins as soon as the garbage men have been cause the council said they will start fining people for leaving out their bins.  Even though I have told her many times the council is referring to people to leave them out for days on end, she is worried we will get a fine if they are left out for more than 20 minutes.

Today she accosted Lela and I as we arrived home from the supermarket wanting to know if we had heard about Dave.  I still have no idea who Dave is, but was ready to hear one of her tales about people in our neighbourhood. I find out all kinds of fascinating things about my neighbours from Bonnie.  However, today she crossed the line from an eccentric busybody to batshit insane.  It seems that her friend Dave who lives up the street at the local hotel passed out whilst entering his room and was rushed to hospital.  According to Bonnie, there was 100 people from our local area at the hospital that day all suffering from the same mysterious symptoms as Dave that left doctors baffled.  However, the hospital is covering it up as they don’t want anyone to know.  Bonnie thinks that people who hate us are trying to kill everyone in the neighbourhood.

I got no idea who these mysterious people who hate us are, but if I suddenly go missing, you will know that they have gotten me and the hospital has covered it up.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
Advertisements

6 responses to “Neighbourhood Conspiracy Theories

  1. Ahh I loved having a neighbour like that in my last house. They watched the place, made sure our junkmail got cleared, and the house wasn’t broken into. Never ate her food tho, in case!

  2. Does this mean i will be looking after the dogs again soon? ;)

  3. OMG, that’s hysterical! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  4. I’ve heard of these mysterious people before. The next sign to watch out for after those mysterious hospitalising symptoms are cockroaches.

    The mysterious people use remote controlled robotic cockroaches to spread the mysterious illness.

    They are easy to spot as they will follow you around from room to room. Another way to tell, is if you can catch one. Put it in the freezer for several days.

    If it is a robotic cockroach, when you take it out of the freezer and thaw it out, unlike a real cockroach, it won’t crawl away.

  5. LOL conspericy theory. It is actually aliens that are watching only your block of the neighborhood testing on humans and you all just happened to be picked.