Last night I attended a family pre-wedding dinner for Lela’s cousin (on her dad’s side) who is getting married this evening.  BTW, she is the most relaxed bride-to-be I have ever come across.  Anyway, the bride to be’s sister’s in-laws are out from the US for the wedding and her mother (Lela’s aunt) was going around the room introducing them to the family.  She comes to me and introduces me as “Lela’s friend”.  Now I experienced this quite a bit at the beginning of Lela and my relationship and I was fine with it.  We hadn’t been dating all that long, people were still getting used to it etc, etc.  However, Lela and I have been together for almost nine years.  I have being going to family functions for almost that long as well.  Yet, I am still introduced as “Lela’s friend” like I am no more important to Lela than someone she works with or hangs out with on the weekend – and it fucking pisses me off.  Would it seriously kill them to introduce me as her girlfriend or partner after all this time? I have been dating Lela longer than her aunt’s daughters have been dating their husband and soon to be husband, but no I am relegated to friend status so they don’t have to acknowledge our relationship and openly admit there are lesbians in the family.

I had a rant to Lela after the dinner was over and we were back at home about it all and now Lela wants to introduce me to someone as her fuck buddy.  I am really hoping that she doesn’t decide to do it at the wedding tonight.


10 responses to “Semantics

  1. Fuck buddy would be an awesome introduction. Make sure it’s done in front of the aunt :)

    You should add “nine years, like rabbits” with a totally straight face!

  2. argh good luck for tonight!

  3. Could you not correct the people who make these introductions? Just with a polite “girlfriend, actually”?

  4. That’s disappointing and hurtful. *shakes head*

    What’s wrong with partner I’d like to know?

  5. My mother seemed a bit unsure of the correct term as well. Does Miss Manners have a cheat sheet for such occasions?

  6. Nine years is a good long time. It deserves a girlfriend or partner. A friend is someone you have coffee with.

  7. Betty Please and I have been together for 16 years and it was only about two years ago when my mother finally started to introduce BP as my partner. So believe me, I hear your frustration.

    If it bothers both of you that much, maybe you should jump in and provide your own introductions.

  8. I’d never really thought about this until a guy I work with , who wore a wedding ring, kept referring to his ‘partner’. My gaydar is so shaky as to be nonexistent, so one day I said to him, “Does this partner have a name?”
    I’ll never forget the look of unease that flashed across his face before he said, “Robert.”

    That look of unease really brought home to me what it must be like to have to gauge your audience before revealing things about yourself. Imagine if I’d had an issue with it? I would have missed out on a beautiful friendship…