This evening, I was walking through Central Station during the evening rush hour when a young woman approached me and told me that the Holy Spirit had compelled her to come over and talk to me. She introduced herself and told me that she was from South Africa and studying to be a pastor. She then wanted to know if I was Christian. ‘Oh great’, I thought, ‘she is going to try to convert me’.
She then told me that the Holy Spirit compelled her to pray for me to heal my sickness. Sure, not a problem. I don’t believe, but if a random stranger wants to pray for me, I don’t have an issue with it. Then she wanted to know my name and what was wrong with me. I told her my name and that I had lupus. It is easier than explaining that my doctors think I have lupus plus perhaps a neurological disorder, but really they don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.
She then told me that the Holy Spirit had told her that my illness was in my stomach. Obviously the Holy Spirit isn’t too bright because I don’t think a stomach ache is going to mean that I walk funny and need a cane. I corrected her and she blushed and said that she was still studying.
I tried to walk away thinking that she would pray for me during her evening prayer session, but she stopped me, laid her hands on me and started praying loudly for the Holy Spirit to cast out my demons and cure my sickness. I tried desperately not to laugh because the whole situation was so absurd. Here I was standing in the middle of Central Station during rush hour with a woman laying her hands on me and praying loudly for my demons to be cast out.
After praying for about a minute she then proclaimed me healed by the Holy Spirit! I finally escaped, but the Holy Spirit doesn’t seem to be good at healing either cause my walking hasn’t improved and I am still in pain. Maybe I just won’t have stomach aches any more.