Back in April of this year, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is either an autoimmune disease, a neuroendocrine disorder or a chronic musculoskeletal pain disorder, depending on who you listen to. What that all means is that no one knows what causes it, there is no cure and very few effective treatments. What it does to someone who has it is cause muscular pain and weakness, fatigue, sleep disturbances and nerve pain. It’s a bitch. I had to quit my much loved job as a veterinary nurse and get an office job because my body just couldn’t handle the physical aspects of vet nursing any more.
In September, I started physiotherapy over at RPA Hospital to not only help with my fibromyalgia, but deal with the knee pain I had that no one knew the cause of. The physios at the hospital noted that my knees hyperextend ie go backwards and that together with me being able to dislocate my thumbs as easy and painlessly as people can bend theirs, I possibly had hypermobility syndrome too. My feet are also incredibly flexible as well which means that I overpronate and that throws out my whole walking style. Therefore, to compensate for all this I developed a way to walk that involves muscles I should not really be using. When my fibromyalgia flares up, all of this compensatory behaviour breaks down and I have great difficulties walking.
So for the past couple of months I have been working with the physio trying to strengthen the muscles in my feet and learning how to walk properly. I got some orthopaedic insoles from Athlete’s Foot which helped correct the overpronation and for a short period of time I was relatively pain free. Then about a month ago, that all broke down. Today, I was told at physio, that they had done all they could do for me. My fibro meant that my muscles could never strengthen to the point they need to for me to walk properly and my best bet was to go to a podiatrist and get some proper orthopaedics, which hopefully would provide my feet with enough external support. Other than that I am to keep practising my strengthening exercises and keep my knees taped in order to keep my kneecaps in place. I am not ashamed to say that after physio I had a little cry and then went to McDonalds for a bacon & egg mcmuffin and a hash brown. I am all about comfort eating. I used that time at Maccas to compose myself and get myself ready mentally for work. Not good falling apart at work.
I am not upset at the physios, they honestly did a great job and finally got to the bottom of the knee pain I have had on and off over the past 10 years, which is more than the numerous physios I have been to in the past ever did. It is not their fault that my body is seriously fucked up. I am hoping that the podiatrist can provide me with some amazing orthopaedics that will solve all my problems. However, a tiny part of me is terrified that this won’t be the case and I will be left with mobility issues. I already have a cane (which pride prevents me from using when perhaps I really should), I do not want to go down the path of even more mobility aids. Therefore, I will be endeavouring to think positively and hoping that the podiatrists will be able to cure my mobility issues. But tonight, I will be a whiny brat and wallowing in self-pity.