What Dogs Not To Buy

After dealing with people who make banging your head against a metal spike seem like fun, I am going to list my top three dog breeds that people who are looking to buy their first dog should never ever buy. Please note that people who are looking to buy their first dog and first-time dog owners are not the same thing. First-time dog owners actually bother to train their dog, read up on dog behaviour and brush their long-haired dogs, people who have brought their first dog do not.

1.Labrador Retriever: Contrary to popular belief, Labradors are not born fully-trained. In fact for the first three years, Labradors are like ADHD children on a sugar high. They are hyperactive and uncontrollable. This is why training them is essential. Moaning about how your Labrador is not as good as the ones used as guide dogs when you have never bothered to even teach it how to sit will gain you the ire of all vet staff. You will get even more of it when the staff have to try to wrestle your out of control 30kg lab in order to give it a vaccination or desex it.

2.German Shepherd: Like the Labrador, the German Shepherd actually needs training. You have in your possession a very strong and powerful dog with a high prey drive. They can and will pull you down the street if you do not teach them how to walk nicely on a lead. Keeping your German Shepherd locked up in the backyard will only get you a shepherd who is scared to death of everything and everyone or one that will attack everyone on sight. Neither of these ones are desirable. If you are a small woman, do not complain to me about how your shepherd pulls you when you try to take it for a walk so you don’t bother anymore. If your dog can potentially weigh the same as you, you might want to think about training it before it gets to that size.

3.Beagle: It is true that a beagle is an ideal family dog. They do love children and are very good with them. That being said, beagles are stubborn assed dogs that are best described as a nose with a stomach attached to it. If you are not committed to taking your beagle to puppy preschool and then obedience school for the first 18 months of its life, do not buy it no matter how cute it looks. Beagles need to know the rules or else they become destructive. They will shred thing, dig holes and annoy the neighbours with their howling. They are also pack animals, so if you work all day long and don’t have a second dog, the beagle is not for you.

Other breeds worthy of mentioning:
Border collie – if you can’t get your ass off the couch this is not the dog for you.
Any long haired breed – brushing your dog daily is mandatory. Bringing your dog in to be clipped when it resembles a walking dreadlock is not taking good care of your dog.
Jack Russell – they may be small, but the term ‘pocket-rocket’ was invented to described them.

Honestly, would it kill people do at least one hour of research on the dog breed they are interested in buying and see if it actually suits their lifestyle?
You are going to be living with this dog for the next 15 years of your life, how about putting some thought into it.

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