You might be a vet tech if….

Taken from lilwashu

You might be a tech if…

1. You look at a cardboard box and recognize its coffin potential

2. You go out to a club and when the black light comes on, you check yourself for ringworm

3. You can eat lunch while cleaning up a Parvo blowout. (Well I haven’t eaten lunch, but I have talked about what I wanted for lunch whilst cleaning up Parvo)

4. You can keep your milkshake frozen in the freezer around a dead dog’s tail. ( I haven’t sunk to this level as I am scared of our death freezer, however, I have had my lunch in the same fridge as a dead dog we were keeping for a necropsy)

5. After seeing what goes into the washing machine at work, your own laundry doesn’t seem so dirty

6. Your work clothes look just like your pajamas

7. You open your lunch container and find a spleen

8. All of your pets are either 3-legged, lame or blind in one eye

9. You’ve done an anal probe on a bird (Thankfully, I have not done this)

10. You can detect maggots at 100 paces just by the smell

11. You can detect Parvo at 200 paces just by the smell ( Oh yeah!)

12. To you, pets are more recognizable than their owners (Definitely, I usually greet the pet and then have to ask the owners what their last name is.)

13. You find a hair in your food, pull it out and keep on eating

14. The first thing you wonder when opening a big cat abcess is “where are the Ritz crackers?”

15. You take your kids’ temp and think 102F is normal

16. Every piece of clothing you own is covered in cat hair… even after it comes out of the washer/dryer

17. You’ve put your finger in every orifice of at least five different species

18. You have friends that laugh at your impressions of “Kennel Cough” & “Reverse Sneezing”

19. You self medicate with Laxatone or Acepromazine. ( Not yet, but every wound in my house is treated with Neocort)

20. The word “bitch” is not a cuss word in your circle of friends

21. You’ve ever had to deal with someone who thinks their dogs 4-hour constipation is an emergency

22. Discussing imbedded collars during a gourmet meal seams perfectly normal to you

23. You believe a good tape job will fix anything

24. You have the bladder capacity of five people ***ok this one isnt me!***

25. You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if the phrase, “Wow, it is really quiet” is uttered. ( This is so true, it is like saying “good luck” at a theatre).

26. You plan your dinner while elbow deep in a bovine’s rectum

27. You have ever referred to the vet on duty as a “shit magnet”

28. Your idea of an x-ray prep is a second dose of Ace/Torb

29. You cough up hairballs

30. You are the first one in the hospital and don’t notice the smell

31. You start to like the smell of anal glands

32. You can play connect the dots with all your scars and puncture wounds

33. Normal people won’t eat meals with you

34. You get the flu and begin to sympathize with the Parvo dog

35. Your paycheck barely covers your food bill

36. You’ve ever picked up dog poop with your bare hands

37. You can put a muzzle on with one hand

38. You know the term pink juice doesn’t mean Kool-Aid

39. You get a rash from just looking at a Shar-Pei

40. You can take a dog’s rectal temperature without looking

And my own ones….

41. You use the dog grooming comb on your own hair

42. Lustureaid makes an acceptable deodarant.

43. You try to open the clinic with your house keys.

44. You refer to muzzles as “party hats”.

45. You are so used to little dogs trying to bite you, that you now find it funny.

46. A bite wound isn’t serious unless there is a lot of bleeding.


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