Taken from lilwashu
You might be a tech if…
1. You look at a cardboard box and recognize its coffin potential
2. You go out to a club and when the black light comes on, you check yourself for ringworm
3. You can eat lunch while cleaning up a Parvo blowout. (Well I haven’t eaten lunch, but I have talked about what I wanted for lunch whilst cleaning up Parvo)
4. You can keep your milkshake frozen in the freezer around a dead dog’s tail. ( I haven’t sunk to this level as I am scared of our death freezer, however, I have had my lunch in the same fridge as a dead dog we were keeping for a necropsy)
5. After seeing what goes into the washing machine at work, your own laundry doesn’t seem so dirty
6. Your work clothes look just like your pajamas
7. You open your lunch container and find a spleen
8. All of your pets are either 3-legged, lame or blind in one eye
9. You’ve done an anal probe on a bird (Thankfully, I have not done this)
10. You can detect maggots at 100 paces just by the smell
11. You can detect Parvo at 200 paces just by the smell ( Oh yeah!)
12. To you, pets are more recognizable than their owners (Definitely, I usually greet the pet and then have to ask the owners what their last name is.)
13. You find a hair in your food, pull it out and keep on eating
14. The first thing you wonder when opening a big cat abcess is “where are the Ritz crackers?”
15. You take your kids’ temp and think 102F is normal
16. Every piece of clothing you own is covered in cat hair… even after it comes out of the washer/dryer
17. You’ve put your finger in every orifice of at least five different species
18. You have friends that laugh at your impressions of “Kennel Cough” & “Reverse Sneezing”
19. You self medicate with Laxatone or Acepromazine. ( Not yet, but every wound in my house is treated with Neocort)
20. The word “bitch” is not a cuss word in your circle of friends
21. You’ve ever had to deal with someone who thinks their dogs 4-hour constipation is an emergency
22. Discussing imbedded collars during a gourmet meal seams perfectly normal to you
23. You believe a good tape job will fix anything
24. You have the bladder capacity of five people ***ok this one isnt me!***
25. You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if the phrase, “Wow, it is really quiet” is uttered. ( This is so true, it is like saying “good luck” at a theatre).
26. You plan your dinner while elbow deep in a bovine’s rectum
27. You have ever referred to the vet on duty as a “shit magnet”
28. Your idea of an x-ray prep is a second dose of Ace/Torb
29. You cough up hairballs
30. You are the first one in the hospital and don’t notice the smell
31. You start to like the smell of anal glands
32. You can play connect the dots with all your scars and puncture wounds
33. Normal people won’t eat meals with you
34. You get the flu and begin to sympathize with the Parvo dog
35. Your paycheck barely covers your food bill
36. You’ve ever picked up dog poop with your bare hands
37. You can put a muzzle on with one hand
38. You know the term pink juice doesn’t mean Kool-Aid
39. You get a rash from just looking at a Shar-Pei
40. You can take a dog’s rectal temperature without looking
And my own ones….
41. You use the dog grooming comb on your own hair
42. Lustureaid makes an acceptable deodarant.
43. You try to open the clinic with your house keys.
44. You refer to muzzles as “party hats”.
45. You are so used to little dogs trying to bite you, that you now find it funny.
46. A bite wound isn’t serious unless there is a lot of bleeding.